When I was a freshman in high school, some of my friends didn't even have cell phones, let alone a fucking iPhone. Our weekends consisted of recording us doing an Oreo eating contest on our digital cameras...completely sober. Yeah, we were fags until the scandelous sophomore years hit but those were some of the greatest days of my life. The sole purpose of our DIGITAL cameras was to record the retarded things, selfies, and other shenanigans we did on the weekends to look back on nowadays and say how the fuck did we come up with this shit sober.
The things my sister's friends Insta are entirely different and her feed is constantly clogged up with the same stupid shit:
1. Starbucks
These fuckers don't even know how to drive yet so clearly they have some pussy ass mother that drives them to Starbucks everyday and buys them $5 drinks that aren't even coffee by the time they have so much whipped cream and chocolate sauce in them. I'm convinced that they just get Starbucks to Instagram it. How original!! Instagramming your Starbucks was sooo last winter when the holiday cups came out, get. with. it.
2. Half-naked bodies
Summertime brings on a whole new theme to Instagram: beach selfies. But it doesn't stop at that. These dumb, naive girls will literally do anything to get attention from boys and I blame Taylor Swift for that. And by anything I mean instagramming pictures of their "tan lines" aka stomach shot and taking selfies in mirrors with daisy dukes and bikinis. I didn't know Jessica Simpson was also a tween when she shot that movie...oh wait, she wasn't. Half these girls can't even fill an A cup anyways so I'm not sure why they are trying...we all know that boys in 9th grade are all shallow enough to go with the girls that already hit puberty in 7th grade.
3. Mirror Pics (w/Friends)
It is apparent that some things never change as this was the thing to do in our time. Peace signs and dumb duck faces are just some accessories to the classic mirror picture. Flash on (obviously for people with no sense of photography) or off? Personal preference. It's still obnoxious AND confusing. Like can't you just take a picture...without the mirror? Really...no one cares to see what bathroom you are in.
4. Reposts
Besides posting pictures of their freshly painted nails, new clothes from Brandy Melville, and their new fake Ray Bans, and acting like there is nothing else going on in the world, a new trend in teen 'grammin is reposting more stupid shit. Usually it's a dumb quote, such as, "One of the hardest parts of life is deciding to walk away or try harder", usually with a cosmic background and fancy typography. Listen hun, the hardest part of life is not deciding whether to keep your fake texting relationship going because he didn't answer you for a whole day. Reposts just make these grammers even more pathetic and dramatic than they already are.
No comments:
Post a Comment